How do you tell someone you like them? Particularly a person who has reached out before, when you only wanted to be friends, and after a year, you’ve just begun to realize that that person was the one you’ve been looking for all along? I have been asking myself this same question for over a month now, and it makes me so nervous, that I have thrown my advice of just telling the person up front and honestly, to everyone I have known who has been in the same situation, out the window. A little backstory might be a little helpful.
A year ago I met this guy in a college class. If I remember correctly, he was already seated when I entered the room on the first day that spring semester. I wasn’t planning on getting to know anyone in the class, as I had mastered the art of being a loner. It was fun, and I liked going from class to class all on my own, finding a spot in the library to read, all on my own, and going home without having to worry about keeping up a friendship. I can barely remember the first words I spoke to this guy, other than the usual greeting people give before they make eye contact with one another. What I do remember, is that over that semester, this guy became a very fast friend of mine, and a very sweet gesture, lead me to the obvious conclusion that he liked me a bit more than I thought I liked him.
I had told him my birthday was coming up, and I discussed it with a former classmate of the previous semester who sat nearby as well. The week after my birthday, when we returned to class, this guy surprised me with a very sweet gift. It was a beautiful bangle bracelet, with butterfly charms dangling from it. I was so shocked, I didn’t know what to say but thank you, as I slid it over my wrist. No one outside my family had ever done something that sweet for me before. Not long after than he asked if he could take me out. He met my parents, and we went to a little diner for dinner. I had a great time, but I felt after that night, that I only wanted to be his friend, with no real problem on his part that lead me to feel that way.
Since then, we have still stayed in contact with one another, took a history class together, and shared our thoughts on many different historical time periods in America. I have found that he is basically like another version of me, minus the coffee addiction–that is something that belongs to me, ha. Over the year, we have gone out together weekly after out classes, traveled to a few historical sites, and visited many bookstores and libraries in search for more books to a growing pile of books we both keep at our homes, knowing we would never have enough bookshelf space to hold them all. Since then, I have spoken to maybe two other guys, met them, and compared them all day long to my friend I met in that class last spring. He’s the only one I’ve told almost everything to, shared my interests with, and my fears. He’s even stuck by me through the times where I have been moody due to my ever growing impatience with other people–something I have to work on, but I am my father’s daughter!
Though we have only been friends, he has been the perfect gentleman in opening every door, and insisting on paying for every meal we have gone out to together. There is a town twenty minutes from my house and school that I currently attend, and each time I visit a restaurant, no matter who I am with, I think about the times I spent at those places with him, and whenever a text notification pops up on my phone, I secretly hope it’s from him. Funny how a person seems to creep up on your mind so often when it didn’t before. I guess it is the time you’re forced to spend without them–through summer break and miles apart–that you realize how you truly felt about them all along, and how every second you’ve spent with them has been the best time ever. But what if this guy doesn’t still want more than my friendship? I wouldn’t know where to begin laying out my feelings…but if I don’t do it, I will never stop thinking about what could have been.
It just isn’t as simple as saying: “Hey, I like you. Do you still like me?” Then again, maybe something that awkward could open the door to a more serious conversation about the topic with him. I am at loss for words, and still as nervous about the whole situation as I was when first beginning this post. Lord help me, I have never asked out a guy before.